a. Keep his tongue from evil, and the experts on Narcissism agree that the outstanding characteristic of the narcissist is that they lie a lot, because they have to in order to support a false appearance. 7
Why do we bother with the Narcissistic individual? Their very nature is such that they must attack us, in order to defend their existence, and what we say about them will not be evident to others and therefore will reflect on us; and besides that the psychologists and counselors agree that it is almost incurable, one obviously frustrated counselor, a Liberty University graduate, called them “demon devils, and let us leave it at that”.
Most people know about social narcissism with info about the “me” generation, but few of us know about what is called malignant narcissism. Sandy Hotchkiss in her book Why is it Always About You? For the narcissistic personality, identifies what she calls the 7 deadly sins as: shamelessness, magical thinking, arrogance, envy, entitlement, exploitation, and bad boundaries. Of Course, each of these need to be discussed and how she distinguishes between simply the social narcissist and the malignant narcissist who is a danger to everybody, but first we must deal with the title of this chapter about why bother with the narcissist?
Linda Martinez that PhD in psychology and counseling identifies narcissism in the Following words: (Note: the numbers are mine.) Narcissism is called NPD, which is amazing and reminds you of MTD.
Narcissistic personality disorders are characterized by (1) extreme self-absorption, (2) lack of empathy, (3) ruthlessness, (4) incapacity for emotional intimacy, (5) volcanic rage, (6) chronic lying, (7) deceit and (8) exploitation… The narcissist (9) lacks a conscience; his sense of right and wrong is determined by how clever he is at not being exposed or punished for his unethical, immoral and illegal behavior.
Dr. Martinez discusses many categories of narcissism: (1) overt, (2) covert, (3) concealed, and (4) high level. Others that specialize in the field include (5) malignant narcissism.
Jesus was the truth, and is the truth, and Jesus taught:
“Judge not according to the appearance but judge righteous judgment.” (John 7:24)
The hypocrite and the Narcissist can appear to be very righteous indeed. In fact, the outstanding characteristic of each is to look right and be right, even if it takes lies to support that appearance. Later, we must try to distinguish between the two, but for general purposes we can consider them one and the same. This verse from John chapter 7 is not simple, and far more people know and want to know “Judge not, let you be judged; for with what judgment, you judge you shall be judged.” Well, for now we can leave it as saying the Judgement with which we Judge is the Word of God, and we want to be judged by that Word. If we indeed know the Word, live by the Word, we will in turn “judge righteous judgement”.
Also, part of that Truth of the Word that we must preach and teach is the famous or infamous teaching of Jesus about the surprise of many so-called Christians and workers of prophesy, like Jezebel, who must hear these words:
These words from Matthew 7 and the last chapter of three chapters that record the Sermon on the Mount will receive a lot of attention here, the reason to quote the whole thought from Jesus about the house built on the rock and the house built upon the sand. The brings us to the second point of why bother?
3. The good Christian life is what we must always promote, which is the opposite of the hypocritical and narcissistic life.
The good Christian life, we are indebted to Simon Peter for describing as well as one of the OT Prophets.
10 For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile:
11 Let him eschew evil, and do good; let him seek peace, and ensue it.
12 For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and his ears are open unto their prayers: but the face of the Lord is against them that do evil.”
NOTE: We will list the other reasons for why bother, before we get lost in the details: (3) We love our favorite lovely narcissist, and (4) We have hope for their change, healing, and salvation.
a. Keep his tongue from evil, and the experts on Narcissism agree that the outstanding characteristic of the narcissist is that they lie a lot, because they have to in order to support a false appearance.
Lind Martinez, an exceptional psychotherapist and quotes Bible a lot and an author in Narcissism writes in “Narcissistic Family Members Always Deny Truth”:
“Narcissists turn reality upside down and sideways and spin it in continuous circles of lies, deceptions, cruelties and betrayals. What they hate the most is the truth because deep in their unconscious they are psychologically empty, filled with rage and self hatred. They are incapable of self understanding or introspection or empathy. Their identity is a charade, a false self that developed when they were very young and will never change.”
b. The good Christian can not speak guile. What is the difference, you ask, between the lie and guile? According to WikDiff, “As nouns the difference between guile and falsehood
is that guile being (uncountable) astuteness often marked by a certain sense of cunning or artful deception while falsehood is (uncountable) the property of being false.”
Other references to guile in the Bible:
Who did not sin, neither was guile found in his mouth?
Wickedness is in the midst thereof: deceit and guile depart not from her streets.
And in their mouth was found no guile: for they are without fault before the throne of God.
For our exhortation was not of deceit, nor of uncleanness, nor in guile
But be it so, I did not burden you: nevertheless, being crafty, I caught you with guile.
Jesus saw Nathanael coming to him, and saith of him, behold an Israelite indeed, in whom is no guile!
Blessed is the man unto whom the LORD imputed not iniquity, and in whose spirit, there is no guile.
But if a man come presumptuously upon his neighbor, to slay him with guile; thou shalt take him from mine altar, that he may die.
Keep thy tongue from evil, and thy lips from speaking guile.